A Fallible Leader Is a Credible Leader
You didn't get this far in your career by highlighting your struggles and missteps. You earned respect by leveraging your superpowers, over-preparing for meetings, bringing considered scenarios and viable solutions, and avoiding phrases like "I messed up" or "I'm not sure."
But as you keep rising in the ranks and prepare for more leadership roles, I need you to understand something very important: The more infallible you try to be, the more distant and less credible you will become.
The Upside of Small Mishaps
In the mid-1960s, the prolific and widely respected social psychologist Elliot Aronson identified a psychological pattern called the pratfall effect.
In his study, Aronson asked people to listen to recordings of quiz show contestants. At one point, a contestant who'd answered nearly every question correctly clumsily spilled coffee on himself. When Aronson asked his listeners to rate how likable each contestant was, they rated the competent, coffee-spill guy significantly more likable, not less.
Aronson astutely noted that the spill shifted the perception of a person who initially seemed infallible and out of reach, and quickly made him relatable (or, in nerdy, psychological terms, it reduced the social distance between the observer(s) and the performer).
And a similar dynamic plays out on workplace teams...
When a leader who typically projects competence and control makes the effort to acknowledge an honest mistake, it sends a signal to their team that it's safe to be human in this meeting or on this team, and it brings everyone a little closer together.
Turning Mishaps into Moments of Trust
Now, this isn't to say you should start spilling coffee and dispensing apologies in every meeting. Certainly not.
But I want you to understand that the higher you rise in your career, the more socially valuable it will become to openly own the occasional mishap and mundane struggle.
And because mistakes will happen - they always do, especially when the pressure's on! - I recommend borrowing an idea from the modern Stoic William Irvine and treating each mishap like a test of how well you can respond before shame and defensiveness take the wheel, by quietly asking yourself:
"How would my highest self show up to this test?" or...
"How would I encourage someone I love to work through a moment like this?"
For diligent high performers like you, each test opens the door for humanity to enter, and how you respond can either build your credibility and followership or erode it.
You get to choose.
